Tips for Safer Online Dating and Dating App Use
Online dating and dating apps serve as significant facilitators in the American relationship scene. Pew Research Center reports that in 2023, 30% of Americans engaged with online dating platforms. Similar to any new interaction, whether in person or through a screen, it's prudent to adopt certain precautions for safer experiences. Since most dating apps do not perform criminal background checks, each individual must decide if they are at ease with meeting someone face-to-face. Importantly, if you ever face sexual violence while dating online or through an app, remember that it is never your fault.
Outlined below are several measures to enhance your interactions on online dating platforms—whether virtual or in-person. We emphasize “safer” because no guideline can guarantee absolute security, and accountability for sexual assault lies solely with the perpetrator.
When Connecting Online
Use unique photos for your dating profile. Utilizing images that are distinct from those on social media makes it harder for anyone to reverse image search and locate you.
Avoid sharing live or moving photos. Photos taken in "live" mode can carry geolocation data alongside them. Be cautious when sharing such photos with matches or potential dates.
Be wary of dubious profiles. If a match lacks a bio, linked social accounts, or has only a single image, their account may be fake. It's crucial to proceed with caution when connecting with someone who offers scant information.
Investigate your potential date on social media. If you have access to your match's name or social media handles, do some investigating to ensure they aren’t fabricating their identity or using a bogus social media profile.
Block and report suspicious users. If you feel uncomfortable with a profile or suspect inappropriate behavior, you can block or report the user either before or after matching. Always trust your instincts regarding whether someone is being honest.
Below is a list of typical tactics or behaviors used by social media scammers to manipulate others emotionally:
- Solicits financial help due to an unexpected crisis
- Claims to be American but resides or travels internationally
- States they are recently widowed with children
- Vanishes suddenly only to reappear under a different identity
- Provides vague responses to direct questions
- Overly flattering or romantic earlier than normal in conversation
- Pushes for your phone number or prompts discussion outside the app
- Asks for your home or work address under the pretense of sending gifts
- Shares inconsistent or exaggerated stories
- Uses poor grammar and language despite a high education level
Signs that should be reported include:
- Requests for financial assistance
- Requests for personal photographs
- Users identified as minors
- Sends harassing or offensive messages
- Attempts threats or intimidation
- Appears to have a fake profile
- Tries to sell you items or services
Wait to Share Personal Information. Never disclose personal details to someone you’ve yet to meet face-to-face, including your social security number, credit card info, bank details, or addresses. Recognize that dating apps will never request your login information, so delete and report any suspicious emails seeking such information.
Do Not Respond to Financial Assistance Requests. Regardless of how believable a story appears, never send money, especially overseas or via wire transfer. If approached with such a request, report it to the app immediately. For further information, consult the U.S. Federal Trade Commission's guidance on avoiding online dating scams.
When Meeting in Person
Video chat before an in-person meeting. After matching and chatting, consider arranging a video chat prior to the first face-to-face date. This can help confirm that your match is genuine. If they refuse a video call, this could indicate suspicious behavior.
Inform a friend about your plans. Take a screenshot of your date’s profile and share it with someone you trust. Let a friend know your dating plans, including the time and location. If plans change, communicate your new location to someone trustworthy.
Opt for a public setting. For your initial date, avoid private locations like your home or workplace. Choosing a public venue such as a bustling café, restaurant, or bar can make both parties feel more comfortable. Steer clear of secluded parks for first dates.
Don’t depend on your date for transport. It's vital to manage your own transportation for the outing, ensuring you can leave whenever you wish without relying on your date. Even if they offer a ride, it's best to avoid getting into a vehicle with someone you do not know well, particularly on the first meet.
Have multiple rideshare apps ready. If one app isn’t functioning when you need it, having a backup can be crucial. Make sure your phone has data, is fully charged, or consider bringing a portable charger along.
Stick to your comfort zone. It's perfectly fine to enjoy a drink on a date, but keep your limits in mind and don’t feel pressured to drink more just because your date is. Additionally, consider avoiding drug use before or during a first meeting, as this could impair your judgment.
Seek help from a bar staff member. If you face discomfort during your date, don’t hesitate to ask a nearby waiter or bartender for assistance. They may help facilitate a distraction, call for help, or arrange a safe ride home.
Trust your instincts. If you sense unease, feel free to leave the date or end communication with anyone making you uncomfortable. Prioritize your safety over concerns of rudeness—your well-being takes precedence, and any decent date will understand.
If you experience discomfort or fear during the encounter, you can always unmatch, block, or report your match afterward to prevent them from accessing your profile again.
Remember that sexual assault and harassment have no justification and are never the victim's fault, regardless of circumstances. The National Sexual Assault Hotline is available to provide confidential support and resources around the clock, free of
